Well, with the sendings off of Cahill and now Kewell, there is absoultely no doubt that there must be a FIFA conspiracy against the Socceroos.
And why not? There is a theory that suggests that a nation has truly embraced the game only when its people feel cheated by FIFA. Without a home-grown conspiracy theory, we would be in the paranoid's equivalent of the Oceania confederation.
To prove this point I started writing an A-Z list of countries that FIFA have conspired against. It had everything... The Algerians getting screwed in '82 by colluding sauerkraut-eaters... Brazil's mysterious demise in the '98 final to foster multicultural harmony in France... India being asked to wear boots in the '56 Olympics... Mexico's ban from '90 preliminary games to ensure USA qualification, and so on...
I won't post the list in full, because really it is too long.
Well, it would be if I finished it...
Besides, I got stuck at X.
As there is no FIFA-recognised state that begins with X, I had to look to club level for inspiration.
The only team I could think of was Neuchatel Xamax. But they are a Swiss club. And surely, given the head office of FIFA is situated in Zurich, any club from Switzerland would be exempt from interference by football's controlling body.
But no! And coincidentally the conspiracy involved an Australian player...
In January 2006 Xamax was involved in a dispute with Leeds United Football Club after the sale of Australian Joel Griffiths. Leeds approached football's governing body after Xamax refused to sign the international release for Griffiths despite having agreed to sell the midfielder.
FIFA found in Leeds' favour and General Secretary Urs Linsi signed off the international transfer certificate.
Proof that FIFA hates everyone...
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